We're all ficked

EDIT 4/3/09: Quick and easy way to see if you're infected, redux:

From the site:
Conficker (aka Downadup, Kido) is known to block access to over 100 anti-virus and security websites.
If you are blocked from loading the remote images in the first row of the top table above (AV/security sites) but not blocked from loading the remote images in the second row (websites of alternative operating systems) then your Windows PC may be infected by Conficker (or some other malicious software).
/EDIT

Earlier tonight, my dad walked in here and warned me about the "April Fool's virus," also known as Conficker.C. I brushed this off after a quick check of my updates. Then my mother, who knows little about the ways of computers, offered me the same warning. My interest was piqued.

As it turns out, ABC 7 aired a highly sensationalistic segment about Conficker, which of course embarrassed me to no end. When these stories come about, I sometimes -- very quietly, and in the back of my brain -- balk at becoming a journalist. (I almost lost it and had to stop the video at "It may be one of the most dangerous computer viruses ever!" [Emphasis added].)

I'm not exactly technically inclined, but I do lurk around the geekier circles of the Internet. I am very painfully aware what role the media tends to play in f'ing up the details when it comes to reporting on science and technology. I've been cringing through the hype. Part of me is glad that this increases awareness of overall computer safety by offering people all the defensive tips that they should be doing anyway (a lot of antivirus company reps, who I will not link here, are jumping to offer their quotes and figures). But part of me wants responsible journalism and good solid facts.

Not that this media frenzy is entirely unwarranted. It's true that Conficker executes its call home function on April 1. It's true that no one really knows what will happen when the virus accesses its hundreds -- soon to be tens of thousands -- designated websites and (maybe) collects whatever its instructions will be from its writer.

Theoretically, Conficker could update on April 1. Part of this could hypothetically mean gathering keyloggers out to steal your passwords and bank information. But overall this "April 1" thing seems to mean that Conficker will simply activate a new algorithm that generates the domain names for the web sites that tell it what to do. But this is not its payload: it could maybe possibly download a payload, and that's what's got security experts watching closely. No one knows what it's going to do just yet.


Rick Romero, ABC7 Consumer Specialist.

Conflicker has been closely watched since its first version, Conflicker.A, came about, and the scariest thing about it so far is its ingenious evolution over subsequent versions. It sneaks in though an unpatched flaw in Windows XP and Vista or through an infected USB device or CDs (in my reading, it can even infect XP boot discs, the little bastard). Once it's in your system, there's not much you can do; it disrupts antivirus software and Windows updates, booting up in safe mode, and access to PC security-oriented websites aimed at eradicating it. It's a nasty worm all around.

I apologize in advance for my own vague understanding of this threat. I realize this leaves me open to a lot of ribbing. Sometimes I wonder if I should add some diversity to my classes and up science classes. I think my dream job might have something to do with helping the media get the layman translation for pure science out to the general public. That way I wouldn't feel so much of the "GET HEADLINE OUT THERE" pressure and I'd learn some pretty neat stuff all the time. Though I suppose this kind of publicity helps with funding for projects. I digress.

A quick and easy way to check if you're infected with Conficker: try accessing any site that offers help, like Microsoft or Symantec. The virus will block access to these sites, which makes Rick Romero's link to Microsoft's Malicious Software Removal Tool a little moot, but who knows.

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